Goodreads Bookshelf
On open letter to sock manufacturers
Okay, it's time.
Like some sort of glacial car manufacturer, you've been slowly doling out improvements in your product. Oh, I'm sure you could have made all your changes at once, but like those auto makers you'd rather keep making your bucks on incremental changes rather than taking a quantum leap forward. But here's the thing: it's time.
Once upon a time, socks were straight tubes and then you came out with the innovative sock-shaped-rather-like-your-foot model. Brilliance.
The only problem, of course, was that now your foot was always in the same place, so the toes and heels wore out more quickly. Not to fear! Some years ago you started making socks (not all socks, just special models) with reinforced toes and heels. I tip my cap to you, sirs or madames, for truly, since this innovation I have not had a single toe poke through a single sock, and even prior to this my heels did not tend to poke through either. Better safe than sorry, I suppose.
Now, I understand that socks are fundamentally different from cars. Besides being even harder to keep smelling new and not requiring regular maintainence, there just aren't as many innovations that can be made with socks. In fact, I'm pretty sure that you have all but one covered. And goddamnit, I want it now.
I swear to you that every single sock I own has, if it has started to wear out, shown wear at one and only one spot: the tendon above the heel. This is, if you will, the Achilles' heel of socks, the one vulnerable point. And it is, indeed, vulnerable. When, on those antiquated socks, my toe began to poke out, it wasn't a big deal. So my toe got a little extra air, so what? If the heel had worn out, I assume it would be a similar circumstance. When the wear occurs by the Achilles' tendon, however, it most certainly is a big deal, because now my shoes are scraping against the poor undefended flesh beneath. This is more than just a convenience issue, like the reinforced toe and heel, this is a serious issue and I want it fixed now. Stop holding out on us, oh ye Haneses and ye Fruits of the Loom!
And whlie you're at it, tell those shoe manufacturers to work on that portion of their shoes too. The first sock company that manages to accomodate me, to you will I swear eternal loyalty. To you will I bring all of my foot-related undergarment needs. At least until air-conditioned socks come out.