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Santa's Lap
I never in my life visited a mall Santa Claus. The only Santa Claus upon whose lap I sat as a kid was the one who came to our church's Christmas party each year. Although it was one of those rituals that happened every year, I'm having trouble recalling the exact details of our church Christmas parties when I was a kid, but I'll put down what I can remember.
First, there was a potluck. But then, that almost goes without saying at our church. The other thing I remember was that we would sing Christmas carols, led by Mr. Behm. He was the president of the consistory for a while, my 7th grade science teacher, the teacher who did alcohol and tobacco education as well as the puberty talk when I was in elementary school, the announcer for the football games, and was just generally the man around the community. He fought in WWII and sang in the choir. His wife was the choir director for many years, and ran the 4-H group I was in for several of the years I was in 4-H as well. I assume they'll be at my wedding. At any rate, he would lead the singing of Christmas carols. I remember "Silver Bells" and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and "Away in the Manger" and "Silent Night." My favorite, though, was always "The Twelve Days of Christmas," largely because of the over-the-top way that Mr. Behm led it. "Five golden rings" would usually be extended to "Five golden ring-ing-ing-ing-ing-ing-ings..." but then occasionally would be cut off quickly, just to keep us on our toes, just to make us laugh. It was Jingle Bells, however, that signaled Santa's arrival.
No one ever knew who Santa Claus was, because he wasn't from around there. I did eventually find out his identity though, when I was in college. It turned out that he lived down in or near Mt. Vernon, which was close to Kenyon, where I went to school. In the autumn of my freshman year, I got into a bit of a car accident, which "Santa" saw in the local newspaper. I was home for Christmas, and at the Church holiday party that year, though I was obviously older than most of his clientele, he called me over to his lap just so he could give me grief about my car accident.
That Santa Claus, he doesn't miss anything.