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Thursday Thirteen... or is that 22?
Lacking the creative spark on this Thursday night, I'm going to share some quotations for this Thursday Thirteen. My 20th-century War Literature class is currently reading Catch-22. I haven't read it myself since probably the winter of 99/00, but I remember absolutely loving it and thinking "I'd like to teach this novel some day," even though I was then enrolled in graduate school for music.
What follows are some of my favorite quotations from the first eight chapters. Sometimes, they're complete in and of themselves, but at times they require you to infer something; for instance, in #6, that Doc Daneeka lied to the government to avoid the draft or, in #11 whether Clevinger or Yossarian is correct--I'll leave that judgment, at least, to you.
1. But Yossarian knew he was right, because, as he explained to Clevinger, to the best of his knowledge he had never been wrong.
2. He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.
3. Doc Daneeka was Yossarian's friend and would do just about nothing in his power to help him.
4. "A little grease is what makes this world go round. One hand washes the other. Know what I mean? You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."
Yossarian knew what he meant.
"That's not what I meant," Doc Daneeka said as Yossarian began scratching his back. "I'm talking about cooperation. Favors. You do a favor for me, I'll do one for you. Get it?"
"Do one for me," Yossarian requested.
"Not a chance," Doc Daneeka answered.
5. Yossarian shot skeet, but never hit any any. Appleby shot skeet and never missed. Yossarian was as bad at skeet shooting as he was at gambling. He could never win money gambling either. Even when he cheated he couldn't win, because the people he cheated against were always better at cheating too.
6. "I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service. You'd think my word would be enough, wouldn't you, since I was a doctor in good standing with my county medical society and with my local Better Business Bureau. But no, it wasn't, and they sent this guy around just to make sure I really did have one leg amputated at the hip and was helplessly bedridden with incurable rheumatoid arthritis. Yossarian, we live in an age of distrust and deteriorating spiritual values, It's a terrible thing," Doc Daneeka protested in a voice quavering with strong emotion. "It's a terrible thing when even the word of a licensed physician is suspected by the country he loves."
7. Yossarian was willing to give Orr the benefit of the doubt... because Orr, unlike Yossarian's other, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, in-law, teacher, spiritual leader, legislator, neighbor and newspaper, had never lied to him about anything crucial before.
8. Huple thrust his jaw out defiantly to let Hungry Joe know he couldn't be pushed around and then did exactly as he had been told.
9. Kraft was a skinny, harmless kid from Pennsylvania who wanted only to be liked, and was destined to be disappointed in even so humble and degrading an ambition.
10. History did not demand Yossarian's premature demise, justice could be satisfied without it, progress did not hinge upon it, victory did not depend on it. That men would die was a matter of necessity; which men would die, though, was a matter of circumstance, and Yossarian was willing to be the victim of anything but circumstance. But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that it paid well and liberated children from the pernicious influence of their parents.
11. "Why me?" Lieutenant Scheisskopf wailed.
"Keep still, idiot," Yossarian advised Clevinger avuncularly.
"You don't know what you're talking about," Clevinger objected.
"I know enough to keep still, idiot."
...
"I want someone to tell me," Lieutenant Scheisskopf beseeched them all prayerfully. "If any of it is my fault, I want to be told."
"He wants someone to tell him," Clevinger said.
"He wants everyone to keep still, idiot," Yossarian answered.
"Didn't you hear him?" Clevinger argued.
"I heard him," Yossarian replied. "I heard him say very loudly and very distinctly that he wants every one of us to keep our mouths shut if we know what's good for us."
"I won't punish you," Lieutenant Scheisskopf swore.
"He says he won't punish me," said Clevinger.
"He'll castrate you," said Yossarian.
"I swear I won't punish you," said Lieutenant Scheisskopf. "I'll be grateful to the man who tells me the truth."
"He'll hate you," said Yossarian. "To his dying day he'll hate you."
12. The case against Clevinger was open and shut. The only thing missing was something to charge him with.
13. To Yossarian, the idea of pennants as prizes was absurd. No money went with them, no class privileges. Like Olympic medals and tennis trophies, all they signified was that the owner had done something of no benefit to anyone more capably than everyone else.