Goodreads Bookshelf
What they say on labels
On the bag of sugar that I recently emptied, in relatively large print we're told three distinct things which, presumably, we're supposed to put together to feel better about eating sugar:
Sugar is a 100% natural simple carbohydrate.
Carbohydrates are an important part of any balanced diet.
Sugar contains no fat or cholesterol and has 15 calories per teaspoon.
You see how it works, right? Well, if sugar is a carbohydrate and we need carbohydrates, then sugar must be all right--necessary even! Of course, they neglect to mention the fact that complex carbohydrates are the ones that are good for you, or that the average American gets way more simple sugars than they need. But... but... it's 100% natural, so it's good for me, right? Dream on, sweet tooth. But wait just a darn minute! No fat or cholesterol! Uh huh: as if fat and cholesterol were the only things that are "bad" for you. Nice try, Domino Foods, Inc!
I was also looking at a scented candle on the table at my girlfriend's place. The scent was "fresh linens," which I suppose is a nice enough scent. The thing that struck me was the claim that "each fragrance is made with real essential oils, extracted directly from their natural source to capture their pure essence for your senses." So, would anyone like to tell me where the "real essential oils" of fresh linens come from? Dryer lint? Hand squeezed dryer sheets? Do they boil down line-dried sheets into its basic constituents and use that goo as an "essential oil"? Maybe I'm missing something, but it seems like a ridiculous claim.
Any thoughts?
And now, deep in the bowels of some major marketing congolmerate, a red
light has come on.
Oh no the secret food police! Sugar comes from the cane plant. IT'S A
VEGETABLE!!! I suppose you are going to tell me my Pretzel Club from
Sheetz is bad for me? It's a cruel, cruel world.
Pretzle club? Do you use it to hunt and eat pretzles? Or does it keep your
car from being stolen? Or do they send you a new and exotic pretzle every
month?
Your ideas on pretzles intrigue me, and I would be happy to receive
your newsletter.
Kapoo I find your ideas intriguing, but it is none of what you suggest.
The evil scientists at Sheetz have concocted a sandwich so diabolical it
could displace cocaine and heroin in addiction, while adding 20 extra
inches to the waistline. They have put sandwich fillings on those soft
pretzels that everyone loves. They call it Pretzel bread. The club refers
to the club sandwich meats. A match made in heaven? I suggest it is a
devilishly clever taste extravaganza.
I'm with Catty--sugar's a vegetable. I have seen entire fields of it! As
for your candle--flax oil? How does flax smell? I know you kind of have
to get it wet and rotten to separate out the linen fibers and that it
smells awful at that point (info courtesy of the billion hours of research
I spent on a novel proposal that didn't sell).