Zombies of the South!

« H E Whimsy :: email
posted Sunday, 8 April 2007

While traveling recently, it occurred to me that an airport would not be a good place for a zombie attack. Oh sure, it might seem on the surface like a good place--all those stores offering food and such, planes ready to whisk us away from the undead, but any comfort drawn from these aspects is illusory at best. The problems with the airport are 1) way too many windows for zombies to break through--indefensible 2) escalators and moving sidewalks whisk animated corpses to the gates or "buffets," from which the living cannot escape, and finally 3) passengers not allowed to carry anything weapon-like, nor are such things available in the convenience stores (convenient, I might ask, for whom? the zombies, pehaps?). Certain security personnel may have sidearms, but I suspect they don't have the large stocks of ammunition needed to fight off the shuffling armies.

All of this, of course, was idle speculation. While in Georgia, however, I saw something far more frightening and deadly: 

That's right. It's a zombie tree. Gray, bloodless vegetative flesh hanging in shaggy clumps from once-living branches; these ghastly giants may shuffle even more slowly than their once-human brethren, but make no mistake, they are deadly. Look at this footage of a zombie tree attacking a live tree. I was fortunate enough to catch this action shot at just the right moment and equally fortunate to escape intact to warn you all.

zombie tree 2

The horror. The horror... 

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Say something, will you?? (6)


1. Miss Bug left...
Sunday, 8 April 2007 8:45 am

but...anything can be a weapon!


2. kevin g left...
Sunday, 8 April 2007 9:58 am :: http://missedexit.blog-city.com

And I thought I was the only person who gave the possibility of a Zombie threat any thought. I liked how Shaun handled it in "Shaun of the Dead."

Know you've planted the seed of a new horror approaching, at least in my mind, of these Zombie trees. Reminds me of a song, "The Return Of The Giant Hogweed" by Genesis circa 1971.

Happy Easter/Passover/Spring Re-birth to you & yours.

Thanks--you too. I picked up the habit from Kapoo, who has fairly detailed zombie defense plans for everywhere he's ever lived and most of the places he's visited more than once.


3. sophmom left...
Sunday, 8 April 2007 9:52 pm :: http://www.dotcalm.blog-city.com

LOL. Been through ATL recently? Seen some wateroaks dripping with moss? I hope you had a nice time. You seem jolly, or maybe that's punch drunk. Welcome home.

Thanks. It's probably one or the other. This entry, btw, was written in the Jacksonville airport. Thank you, JAX, for free internet.


4. Kapoo left...
Monday, 9 April 2007 7:40 am

First: Zombie trees? Dude, they only attack other trees for their life rendering sap.

I refer you to the arguments of Durkon, as presented in OotS, and suggest that they apply doubly to undead trees.

Secondly, yeah, if you're stuck at the airport when the big one rises up, then it's "game over, man, game over." The way security is at large airports these days, the safest place would probably be the tarmac, since it is an area that's relatively hard to get to. Not thagt it would be safe forever, since roamers seem to manage to find their way into the oddest of places, and there's always the danger of those trapped on planes when they died, but it would be safer than the actual terminals.

On this, at least, we can agree.


5. catty left...
Monday, 9 April 2007 1:42 pm :: http://savetheamericanfamily.blog-city.c

Truly frightening! Quick thinking catching the attack on camera. You are a brave man.

I'm a teacher--who could argue with your assertion?


6. Paula Reed left...
Saturday, 14 April 2007 2:35 pm :: http://paulareed.blog-city.com

Well, you may not have written a book yet, but you have the makings of a screenplay, here.